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Straight to Tape

by Pan Amsterdam

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1.
Wakizashi yo, no suicide though, Reheat up my soup, Miso. Toyotomi, Miyamoto, Samurai negro. Heat up some soup, Miso, Full Miyamoto Mamasay, mamasa, my Yakuza (x2) Why do you sound like an African? (x2) No, not Native American, you sound like an African. Why do you sound like an African? (x2) - TaTonka No, not Native American,(Willy Wonka) you sound like an African. Why do you sound like an African? (x2) - TaTonka No, not Native American,(Willy Wonka) you sound like an African. Now, it’s ok to be African (disclaimer) But you sound like an African (disclaimer!) African. Why do you sound like an African? (x2) No, not Native American, you sound like an African. In the bushes (x2) I got a Golden Ticket In the bushes (x2) I got a Golden Ticket Something in the bushes yo.
2.
120 BPANAM 03:34
Malaysian's my thing Noodles, Cellophane, You don’t know about it mayne, Better than a plantain, A chicken wing, Pork fried rice and a chicken wing I ain’t for the games, I ain’t one for the games. Showing my thing on the big screen, Brunettes in a gangbang Confederate flags ain’t her thing, But, she’ll do it for the money mayne. Olives in cocktails… yes, Made to relieve my stress, I’ll keep ‘em going to the dawn, Then help you find your dress. A gentlemen’s my name And so we weren’t in vain We flew to Vegas last night and I gave you my last name Dancing ‘til you were sweaty, Your fragrance drove me crazy. Perfume with slight booty smell, You ‘bout to have my baby. I love you, you so funky, And so damn thick and chunky. And though I be the Prince of Wales, I still like riding donkeys.
3.
Cornish Hen 02:06
The fake magic is fed, Legs cocked open to receive rotten bread. Stove-top stuffing for TED talks, Rotten eggs Got you conversing with Mr Ed, boss, Go powder your nose. Dance with Travolta like a pro, Uma knows N words and Tarantinos, I suppose Billy Joel and so it goes. Rent used to come around like Nibiru Let that be, the last Get Rich qk lyrics that I fed you. I don’t give codes, I Code Switch, Like Madison Washington, we reside up in the glitch. Playing catchup as we spit MashUps. the league was too corrupt Satchel Paigen us because they can’t keep up. It’s controversial, the conspiracy that I see, Robbing you from your late night infomercials. Golden gates, Rolls Royce with an Asian voice, Tom Vu got nothing on you, rejoice. No, for real I’m really glad you that you ate, ‘cause pretty soon I'm gonna take the cake. Side order of steak. Potatoes I bake, the butter makes your heart say ‘Wait’, This is a mistake, But by then it’ll be too late, go ahead and accept your fate. Mr Braithwaite. It’s lao's time. Are you shocked Mr. Williams? I won’t sell it, Ask Bleak Gillium. The Dragon enters Pulp Fiction mo' betta balloons with helium. It’s your birthday, spend millions Sour cream in my pants, no thanks in advance. Food all over your chest, ya made a mess, Get it in Ya stuffed Cornish Hen, You’re the Wolf of Walmart Sell me this Pen!
4.
Pricey Nacho 01:54
Tacos, made with pride. The upper-west side Cartels, you two, just drive Triads on Broadway High. Supply and demand in this restaurant, know they bought it out: fist bump, And they goin’ legit, to legit to quit, before you’re havin’ a fit, better go with it. At night I watch adult things, cover my eyes during sex scenes, Then on to a little bit of texting, handing questionnaires that are vexing. Swiping right at night, a damn shame right? But Tinder keeps my apartment looking right. Benjamin Franklins, I’ll fly a kite, Butterfly the last unicorn, hold tight. Price yourself out the game Glenfiddich, I’ll disappear like Schmendrick You ain’t my High School sweetheart, and my name ain’t Kendrick. Fitting it all in a briefcase, Selfie With a duck-face. Brother Jamal serving rice cakes, no beanpie you lose face. Comedy tickets, jokes be crickets, And you better not say the word midget. Dig it, gotta tent pitch it, got a bucket... kick it You’re dead son, two one-on-one, Too Hall N' Oats Don’t go to jail son, might meet a schwarzeneggar, Then you got groped, Jazz purists, professional students that gotta eat, Tourists, real estate losers and Wall Street, Black nanny skeet skeet, got you on the cheap, Your dad’s got sexy friends on facebook, What work that took, Add friend, add friend, Cleanex and a napkin, napkin. Tacos, made with pride. The upper-west side Cartels, you two, just drive Ni-hao, Bye Bye
5.
Kubrick 02:20
CB4 ya have a chance, did I mention before that I could dance Chris Rock Crack Rock New Jack Black Cop, New Jack swing on you with a helmet lookin flat top We ain't takin over the Carters, but I keep, Keith Sweatin for starters There you go telling me no again, about as fake as my accent Liar Liar, Pants on fire, Debuting my fear and desire with a killer's kiss Lolita's on my list, And my lawyer's more kosher than gefilte fish Knick knack paddywack, feed my wolf a muskrat Wildlife and hugging trees help me with my cataracts, Gung-ho jumping jacks, good raughs Shinin' like Nicholson, wielding an axe Relax, I'm Batman, Beetle Juice Beetle Juice, hey Mr. Tallyman Shame you like Rwanda It's a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I have three hundred followers On my social site, thunderstorms with sunlight The devil fights his wife, black and white sitcom life My dame plays tennis but my name ain't Dennis, Magne don't be a menace, squintin harder than Idris. "Message" JDavey dirty peaches You can try to eat me but my meat is too gamey, Like an Aussie bush Turkey, doin yoga mad early Watchin butts eyes wide shut, Hey Amy

about

It had to happen sometime this year...

Pan Am back at it with a straight to tape TAPE. Full of rap RAPS. Claptraps and backslaps.

Introducing Nap Amsterclam. The Southern cousin of Pan.

Please be aware of Nap.

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released November 15, 2019

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Pan Amsterdam New York, New York

When Pan Amsterdam washed up on the coast, he was wearing an oversized black velvet jacket with a cigarette burn, black jeans and two different coloured church socks. Further along the coast we found a trumpet case WITH a trumpet inside of it, in the case's side zipper there was a mouthpiece, valve oil for the horn, and a drive with tape on. Written on the tape were the words, "Elevator Music". ... more

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